Saturday, March 29, 2014

Gooks Don't Get Redskins Joke

Gooks Don't Get Redskins JokeS

Wednesday's episode of the Colbert Report, a satirical television program in which Stephen Colbert satirically plays a conservative buffoon, featured a segment on actual buffoon Dan Snyder's Washington Redskins Original Americans Foundation, which was announced this week amid renewed protest against the team's nickname. The organization, according to the team's press release, will "offer genuine opportunities for Tribal communities." Of course, if Snyder had had the courage of his convictions, he would've called the group the Washington Redskins Foundation for Redskins. But in any case he came off as nothing so much as a man buying an indulgence for sexual deviancy with a check signed by his penis. It was pretty funny.

Anyway, during the segment, Colbert made a callback to a 2005 episode of the show, in which Colbert, in character as a satirical conservative talk-show buffoon, was "caught" making racist jokes about Asians. After the callback, Colbert, in character, said he would atone for his racism by establishing the Ching Chong Ding Dong Foundation for Sensitivity to Orientals or Whatever. The satirical buffoon would make like the actual buffoon. He would try to buy an indulgence, and in so doing he would sin anew. The joke worked because the comedian had chosen a slur of similar pitch and degree to "Redskins"—or "gooks," for that matter—whose absurdity would be plain to any viewer, racist and non-racist alike, one whose earnest usage nowadays elicits no more than sigh of pity. It was pretty funny.

After the show, the official Colbert Report Twitter account—which is always in character and not controlled by Colbert himself—sent out a now-deleted tweet that read: "I am willing to show #Asian community I care by introducing the Ching-Chong Ding-Dong Foundation for Sensitivity to Orientals or Whatever." That's when this happened:

Suey Park is, for lack of a better term, a Twitter activist. So it matters, to whatever extent things like this matter, when she starts a hashtag. Whether Park didn't get the target of the joke, failed to understand the basic premise of the show (unlikely, since she considered herself a fan at one point), or was just bent on manufacturing outrage isn't clear. But the root of Park's issue with the Colbert Report doesn't really matter, because her tweet riled up the perpetually riled-up segment of Twitter, and the #CancelColbert hashtag was soon flooded with a mind-warping mix of left-wingers and Asian activists refusing to understand satire and right-wing zealots who jumped on the opportunity to funnel as much false outrage as possible in Colbert's direction, all of this awfulness culminating in Dave Zirin showing his ass on Twitter. It was pretty stupid.

We will bet all the money in our pockets against all the money in Dan Snyder's that there was no one happier last night than Snyder himself, who saw the lampooning of his half-a-loaf measures to atone for his team's nickname give way to the willful misapprehensions of a single Korean-American shit-stirrer. Snyder had hired Lanny Davis to launch a PR campaign that would somehow take the stink off his doomed defense of a racist name, but now he had a friend in Suey Park, too, who in focusing on her own claim of racial grievance—what happened to intersectionality?—moved the debate away from the issue of Native American nicknames and onto the question of whether Snyder's critics are taking an appropriate tone. That is exactly where Davis and Snyder want to see it go.

The two authors of this post happen to be Korean-American—one of them, like Suey Park, is a Korean-American from Illinois. We find Suey Park's reading of the joke to be, as the activists like to say, incredibly problematic; it flattens out all meaning and pretends, in effect, that there is no ironic distance between Jonathan Swift's satire and actual cannibalism, not to mention that it's tighter-assed than life itself, as a funny white man once said. We find it even more problematic that she has created the misdirection that Snyder usually pays good money to Lanny Davis to provide.

If Suey Park wants somebody to get pissed at, she should consult Dave McKenna's indispensable "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder." There, she'll find the following:

"Emulate Charlie Chan": What Asian actors trying out for a mascot job at Snyder-run Six Flags were allegedly told during 2008 auditions. After the 2006 firing of Mr. Six, the longtime mascot Snyder deemed "creepy," the theme park chain's marketing team hired a Japanese actor to scream "More flags! More fun!" in a vaguely Asian accent in TV commercials. The Chicago chapter of the Japanese American Citizens League, which publicized the "Charlie Chan" angle, was among the advocacy groups critical of the effort. The campaign was canceled very shortly after its debut.

#CancelSnyder. Trend it.

How can the National Park Service "reintroduce the national parks … to a new generation of Americans

How can the National Park Service "reintroduce the national parks … to a new generation of Americans"? It can start by making sure its workforce looks more like America: "The staffing at the Park Service has remained perpetually and overbearingly white throughout its century-long history."


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Zen Koans Explained: "Learning to Be Silent"

Zen Koans Explained: S

If a toad sits in the sun, why does he do it? "To be warm," you might say. But have you asked the toad? It's possible that you have, but not probable.

The koan: "Learning to Be Silent"

The pupils of the Tendai school used to study meditation before Zen entered Japan. Four of them who were intimate friends promised one another to observe seven days of silence.

On the first day all were silent. Their meditation had begun auspiciously, but when night came and the oil lamps were growing dim one of the pupils could not help exclaiming to a servant: "Fix those lamps."

The second pupil was surprised to hear th first one talk. "We are not supposed to say a word," he remarked.

"You two are stupid. Why did you talk?" asked the third.

"I am the only one who has not talked," concluded the fourth pupil.

The enlightenment: The fifth pupil, who did not talk, has been completely forgotten.

This has been "Zen Koans Explained." The toad said.

[Photo: Shutterstock]


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Texas Monthly editor Jake Silverstein is the new editor-in-chief of The New York Times Magazine.

Texas Monthly editor Jake Silverstein is the new editor-in-chief of The New York Times Magazine. According to Politico, Silvertein started out as “a reporter for the Big Bend Sentinel, a weekly newspaper in Marfa, Texas.”


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That Flair Guy from Office Space Lost a Lawsuit Over "Illegal Flair"

That Flair Guy from Office Space Lost a Lawsuit Over S

The actor who played Brian, the flair-obsessed Chotchkie's waiter from Office Space, has lost a lawsuit in which he accused 20th Century Fox of using his image to sell "illegal flair."

Todd Duffey was specifically referring to the Office Space Box of Flair, a kit that contains 15 of the 37 buttons you'd need to be a model Chotchkie's employee like Brian.

That Flair Guy from Office Space Lost a Lawsuit Over S

He claimed that Fox owed him for using his photo on the product's packaging and the enclosed "Guide to Flair" book, and using his image as the flair guy to sell the product. He wanted damages, attorneys' fees, and "the destruction of the illegal flair."

No dice. Duffey signed away all his promotional rights for Office Space in a day player agreement, including the right to use images from his performance to sell crappy spin-off products.

Here's U.S. district court judge J. Paul Oetken expressing himself in a decision to dismiss the case:

"There is only one reasonable way to read the relevant terms: Duffey granted Cubicle all rights to 17 images of his performance in Office Space, including the right to use his image on Office Space merchandise."

In case you're curious what else Duffey's been up to since Office Space, he wrote a piece for L.A. Weekly last year about his life as "That Guy." (Spoilers: Typecasting. Free beer.)

[H/T: Consumerist]


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Allen Ginsberg Teaches You How to Give a Blowjob

Allen Ginsberg Teaches You How to Give a BlowjobS

Vocativ has published a lengthy profile of Marcus Ewert, who bedded not one Beat, but two: Allen Ginsberg and William Burroughs. This all started in 1988 — Ewert was 17, Ginsberg (who'd later come out as a member of NAMBLA) was 62, and Burroughs was 74. Ginsberg had his way with Ewert and then passed him onto his friend Burroughs, whom Ginsberg decided could use a good lay.

If that all sounds like a great time, get a load of Ginsberg's blowjob technique, as revealed in this quote by Ewert:

Basically he blew me; that was a big part of it. And he was really good at it. He did this thing where he had his hand and his mouth working at the same time, and he'd take time out to explain to me what he was doing. He was like, 'See, you do this with your hand so that way your partner's penis is always being touched, and when your mouth is off it, your hand is there and it keeps it warm and it keeps the sensation constant, and that shows real consideration to your partner.' It's very Allen that he's always peppering anything he's saying with little tutorials. But I was totally down for that—it was what I'd signed up for. I wanted the tutorial, I wanted to understand how the fucking world worked. I wanted somebody to help me and mentor me.

(The technique works, by the way.)

As for sex with Burroughs, Ewert says, "I think it was just hand jobs and humping."

[Image via Getty]


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Scalia, in Brooklyn, Says He Can't Judge Hate or the NSA

Scalia, in Brooklyn, Says He Can't Judge Hate or the NSAS

Antonin Scalia, the longest-serving active justice of the Supreme Court, has a great deal of charm at his disposal, in person. From a distance, it's easy to imagine Scalia as a sort of aloof, smoldering demon, throwing cruel barbs at popular notions about justice and progress. Yet he is dear friends with Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Nicholas Allard, the dean of the Brooklyn Law School, mentioned that friendship last Friday, on the stage of the opera house of Brooklyn Academy of Music, before bringing Scalia out to meet the crowd. The dean also mentioned that Scalia has written more concurring opinions than any other justice in the history of the court, along with his copious body of dissents. Grumpy and dismissive as his official persona may be, Scalia wants to be heard.

And the crowd wanted to hear Scalia. The event, in which the Fox News host and former judge Andrew Napolitano would be asking the justice questions, had been relocated from the law school campus to the opera house to accommodate demand. Two wooden chairs with padded seats waited, on an Oriental rug.

Scalia took the stage with an arm-swinging walk and took the chair at stage left. He wore a suit with narrow pinstripes; his necktie was yellow; the top of his dark hair has gone white. As he settled into his chair, he kicked out both feet, a childlike movement. He kicked them out again. Maybe his legs were stiff.

Napolitano is a dear friend of Scalia's as well. He supplied an introduction after the introduction, in which he told a story about how the two of them had been dining together in a restaurant once and some of his own fans had come over to greet him, completely ignoring the famous and powerful justice at the table. TV professionals have a way of telling stories like these.

Then they were off, with Napolitano gently goading Scalia about the idea that American law might recognize certain inherent transcendent rights, so that Scalia could cheerfully reject the concept, in favor of his own doctrine of originalism. "You're a big natural-law freak," Scalia said. That, the justice said, is the province of philosophers and theologians and other specialists, of which he is not one.

"I'm a lawyer," Scalia said.

The gist of Scalia's legal philosophy, as he wishes it to be understood, is that whatever abstract and universal ideas may have inspired the Founders were codified into the Constitution, at which point their abstract or universal nature ceased to apply. All that remained, going forward, was the specific text of the Constitution and subsequent legislation: "I enforce American law, and it's up to the American people to conform that to natural law."

Scalia salted his remarks with similarly tidy constructions: "The rule of democracy is the majority rules." "The text is the text." "A liberty is a liberty." At the bottom of every hotly contested issue, he finds a self-evident principle, demonstrating that there is nothing even to be contested.

"Did the Eighth Amendment bar the death penalty?" he asked at one point. "Not a hard question." The people who wrote the Eighth Amendment practiced the death penalty, ergo its prohibition of "cruel and unusual punishments" could not possibly exclude capital punishment. The only question, he said later on, is "Is the electric chair any more cruel than death by hanging?"—the presumption being that the answer was clearly that it was not.

The rhetorical underpinning of all this was Scalia's notion of humility. Again and again, he returned to describing himself as a lawyer—that is, a mere technician, bound to work only with the textual tools he had been provided with. "What prepared me to decide these cosmic moral questions?" he asked. "Harvard Law School?"

It was a good question, but not as expansive as it could have been. Theology and philosophy are not the only technical specialties in the academy; people also spend years training to become historians or linguists. One might deem those skills essential to understanding precisely why documents drafted by a committee of educated 18th-century men in the former British colonies used certain words and phrases and not others. Yet Harvard Law doesn't give out Ph.Ds in those disciplines, either.

That lack of expertise didn't prevent Scalia from going on an extended disquisition on the significance of the word "the" in the Bill of Rights—a critically important word, in his reading. Americans do not enjoy "freedom of speech," but "the freedom of speech"; that is, the Founders, in the process of converting abstract law to a fixed code, guaranteed only "what was the right of Englishmen in 1791."

Not that Scalia isn't willing to take a broader view. "No one should be a strict constructionist," he said. "That is stupid. Texts should not be interpreted strictly, they should be interpreted reasonably." So: "The reasonable meaning of the First Amendment is freedom to communicate, whether you do it by semaphore or by burning an American flag."

The flag-burning subject gave Scalia a chance to demonstrate his personal modesty. "I would send that guy to jail so fast if I were king," he said. The flag-burner who came before the court in Texas v. Johnson, he said, was "a bearded weirdo, sandals, long hair and everything." But the sensibilities of Scalia the opinionated human had to yield to the textual restrictions on Scalia the lawyer. "I am not king," he said, cheerfully throwing up his hands.

Scalia used his hands constantly as he spoke. He is a gifted extratextual communicator, his words constantly shaded by his tone, his gestures, and the comic application of his stern, heavy-lidded gaze. Frequently, he spoke ironically or from an assumed persona, so that the audience understood that he meant something opposite to or aslant from his literal words. He cited the teaching powers of "Harvard Law School, or even Yale Law School," in a way that clearly treated the high end of legal academia as ridiculous, even as he seemed to endorse the hierarchy among elite schools.

But he did all this in a venue where video and audio recording were forbidden. So you'll have to take my word for it. He was funny, even if the evidence is not necessarily there in the text.

Ultimately, Scalia's legal humility is meant for other people. It's his fellow justices who keep overreaching, failing to recognize the commonsense limits on their power. He clings to his integrity, in a neatly closed intellectual loop. Originalism, he said, "is really the only possible criterion for how a judge should apply the Constitution....What other possible criterion is there?"

Obviously his colleagues must believe that there are other criteria, but Scalia excludes those possibilities. He may delight in Ginsburg's company, but he does not even try to reach her on legal matters.

"I have never discussed legal philosophy in depth with any of my colleagues," he said. He theatrically imagined the result, if he did: "'My God, Nino, you're right!'" His meaning was that he did not expect the other justices ever to say any such thing.

"No, it's too late," he said. "It's too late for them and their generation."

So he makes his arguments after the fact, for posterity. "I write my dissents for the students at law schools," he said.

It was sometimes peculiar which matters struck Scalia as airtight, and which did not. In another aside on language, he meditated on the absurdity of "substantive due process": "The world is divided into substance and procedure," he said. (Recall, Scalia is not a trained philosopher.) Substantive process was inherently nonsensical. "It's the opposite of procedural substance," he said. The little word "due," floating in the middle in a cloud of unexamined assumptions, went unexamined.

Nor did he convincingly articulate why it was reasonable to interpret the First Amendment's protection of "speech" broadly, but the Fourth Amendment's protection of "persons, houses, papers, and effects" narrowly. He ticked of those those four items multiple times, even using his fingers, to express the formal limits on privacy.

One of those recitations came up when Napolitano raised the question of the secret court proceedings that govern the NSA's surveillance. "I don't want to get myself recused," Scalia said. He went on to argue, though, that the court had brought disaster on itself long before when it decided that wiretaps fell under the Fourth Amendment. Now, he said, decisions about the surveillance state must be made by the branch of government "least competent" to make them.

"My court doesn't know diddly about the degree of the threat," he said.

Originalist modesty, then, would apparently demand that the NSA's high-tech Panopticon be allowed to gaze without limit. But in the question-and-answer period, a different possibility came up. Why, a student from NYU asked, wouldn't data on a computer count among a person's "effects"?

"Ooh!" Scalia said. "Ooh! I'd better not answer... It's a really good question. That's fun."

Here, for a moment, was the Scalia of the 21st century, the author of the majority opinion that said that looking at the outside of a house with thermal imaging, for the purpose of picking out what was inside, constituted a search. "It may be effects," he said. "Don't you think that may be effects?"

It was little bit nice and a much bigger bit dismaying. The Supreme Court, on both wings and its center, is populated by people with limited experience of modernity. Search-and-seizure cases are often where this shows up (four justices, including the liberal John Paul Stevens, had disagreed with Scalia's view that thermal imaging would require a warrant). Even so, till this moment, had the possibility really never crossed Scalia's mind that in a world where everything is done by computer, someone's "effects"—let alone "papers"—might be virtual?

This is how a mind, even a clever one, ends up working when it's stuck in a cloister. The final question of the night came from a student who asked Scalia about whether his history of opinions resisting gay rights contributed to the "demeaning and persecution" of sexual minorities. He spoke in a nervous rush, with a trembling voice and none of the justice's ease of manner.

The question—"Is that a question?"—was "ridiculous," Scalia told him. Scalia did not agree with the conclusion that his legal opinions, his reading of the limits of the text, could have "promoted hate in America or abroad."

"If that provokes hate—I can't imagine how it would," Scalia said. "But hate whom you like."

[Photo by Damion Edwards Photography for Brooklyn Law School]


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Here Are Some Sheep Storming the Louvre

You don't really need context to enjoy a dozen sheep (and one sheepdog) running through the halls of the Louvre, but here it is anyway.

Friday's "sheepstorm" was a protest by France's Farmers' Federation against reforms to the European Union's Common Agricultural Policy. They fear cuts to subsidies for smaller farms will speed the industrialization of agriculture and cost farmers their jobs.

"What we can see today is a desire on the part of the agricultural ministry to impose a marginalising policy which will get rid of farmers so we came here to say we don't belong to a museum and that our place is in the countryside, where we can revitalize the countryside, create jobs and develop quality produce, that's why we came here today," said a spokesman.

Officials at the Louvre said no one was arrested and no artwork was damaged.


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President Putin called President Obama Friday afternoon to discuss possible diplomatic solutions to

President Putin called President Obama Friday afternoon to discuss possible diplomatic solutions to the crisis in Ukraine. Obama "urged Russia to support this process and avoid further provocations, including the buildup of forces on its border with Ukraine," according to a White House press release.


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David Samson, the 74-year-old chairman of the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, has resigne

David Samson, the 74-year-old chairman of the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, has resigned.


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The New Owner of Newsweek Believes Homosexuality Can Be Cured

The New Owner of Newsweek Believes Homosexuality Can Be CuredS

Last year, IBT Media acquired Newsweek from IAC, hoping to use the magazine’s name to redeem the company’s reputation as a soulless content farm controlled, in part, by right-wing Moonie leader David Jang. In a lengthy profile of IBT founder Johnathan Davis, Guardian reporter Jon Swaine reveals that the 31-year-old entrepreneur believes in redeeming gay people, too:

In a Facebook post in February 2013, Davis described as “shockingly accurate” an op-ed article written by Christopher Doyle, the director of the International Healing Foundation (IHF), which works to convert gay people. Davis said it “cuts like a hot knife through a buttery block of lies.”

In the Christian Post article Davis linked to, ex-gay activist Christopher Boyle argues that “there is a good chance a person will experience SSA”—same-sex attraction—if that person experiences “sexual initiation and/or sexual abuse” as a child, and that “activists in the psychological and counseling communities” repeatedly silence researchers who suggest that homosexuality is harmful and can be cured. (Both assertions have been repeatedly debunked.)

When asked about the Facebook post, which he eventually deleted, Davis told the Guardian: “Whether I do or not [believe that], I’m not sure how that has any bearing on my capacity here as the founder of the company. I’m not sure how it’s relevant. People believe all sorts of weird things. But from a professional capacity, it’s unrelated.”

Heaven is real.

Update: A few hours after this story was published, Davis sent IBT employees a company-wide memo in which he states that “our company, myself included, has and always will respect diversity in our workplace.”

To contact the author of this post, email trotter@gawker.com

[Photo credit: Shutterstock]


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Airbnb Is Suddenly Begging New York City to Tax Its Hosts $21 Million

Airbnb Is Suddenly Begging New York City to Tax Its Hosts $21 MillionS

Now that Airbnb is a $10 billion soon-to-be-public corporation, the outlaw of the sharing economy is trying to go legit at the expense of its hosts. Literally.

The company, which lets users rent space in apartments, homes, yurts, etc. sent a letter to Mayor Bill de Blasio this week suggesting that hosts pay the 15 percent lodging tax that typically applies to hotels, which amounts to at least $21 million a year.

CEO Brian Chesky has told regulators that he would be willing to let hosts pay the occupancy tax before. But this is the first time that the company has ever revealed "estimates on how much tax revenue its New York hosts might generate," reports The Wall Street Journal.

Six years later, New York has lost millions in potential tax dollars while Airbnb gained hundreds of millions in venture capital, with hundreds of millions more to come. But with a possibility of an IPO looming, Airbnb is getting proactive about what would end up in the "Risk Factors" section. A copy of the letter, obtained by Valleywag, woos de Blasio by suggesting the taxes could go toward his efforts to combat homelessness:

But what's even worse is that separate New York laws also prevent us from collecting taxes from our hosts and presenting that money to New York. We need to fix those laws now, so that no more time is wasted.

While many companies look for loopholes to avoid paying taxes, we want to work with leaders in New York to ensure that the Airbnb community pays its fair share. Over the next twelve months, we believe those taxes would easily reach the $21 million needed to pay for your rental assistance program. But we need help from you and other leaders in New York government to clarify and improve the tax laws now on the books so that we can legally collect and remit those taxes.

With your leadership and support, we can change these outdated and problematic laws. Airbnb hosts brought in more than $632 million to New York over a recent 12-month period alone, and changing the laws to allow for easier collection of taxes would just add to those benefits.

The company, which takes a 6 to 12 percent fee, isn't quite as saintly as their plea makes out. Airbnb is asking to change the law to let the company collect and remit from hosts, not volunteering to take it out of their own bottom line (lol capitalism). But either way, that 15 percent is going to get passed down to the renter.

What's more, this move comes as the hotel industry is putting pressure on Airbnb to uphold the same fire and safety standards they have to adhere to, notes The Wall Street Journal. Meanwhile, the taxing of multi-billion corporations had already occurred to local authorities in 2013:

[David Hantman, Airbnb's head of public policy] said Airbnb was also trying to tackle safety concerns by establishing a new requirement for all rentals to have smoke and carbon-monoxide detectors by year's end.

New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman last year subpoenaed information on about 15,000 New York-area hosts to determine if any were paying hotel taxes. Airbnb filed a motion in state Supreme Court to block the subpoena, calling it unreasonably broad. The Albany court was supposed to hear arguments on the matter Thursday, but that hearing was postponed until April 22. Mr. Hantman said in a blog entry that the two sides are in discussions to reach an out-of-court agreement.

Airbnb isn't the only Silicon Valley startup conveniently cleaning up its act after a multi-billion valuation and global reach. Uber and Bitcoin are looking at lot less libertarian these days. But there's another snag in this peace offering, according to The Wall Street Journal:

Sam Himmelstein, a New York attorney who represents tenants, said that in some cases the tax could create additional documentation, making it easier for landlords to evict tenants who broke building rules. Most buildings require landlord permission before subletting.

New York is model city for the Airbnb's legal battles. Brace yourself, San Francisco.

To contact the author of this post, please email nitasha@gawker.com.

The rainbow flag flies over a building next to Nelson's Column monument in Trafalgar Square in centr

S

The rainbow flag flies over a building next to Nelson's Column monument in Trafalgar Square in central London on Friday. It marks the start of same-sex weddings in the UK, which will begin at midnight on Saturday. Image via Lefteris Pitarakis/AP.


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The detrimental effects of America's class system from birth to death, illustrated in 18 charts.

The detrimental effects of America's class system from birth to death, illustrated in 18 charts. Povertylicious.

Lime Prices Hit Historic Highs, Panic Ensues

?Lime Prices Hit Historic Highs, Panic EnsuesS

The market has soured on cheap citrus: In the past year, the price of limes—or, as experts are calling them now, "green gold"— has skyrocketed, reaching heights never before seen.

Some places, like Texas, have seen prices quadruple in just the last few weeks alone; nationwide, the prices have more than doubled in the past year.

"We're at an unprecedented price point," Ronnie Cohen, the vice president of sales for Vision Import Group, a produce importer based in New Jersey, told USA TODAY. Forty pound boxes cost about $40 last year; now, they're more than $100, Cohen said.

"This is something we've never seen for any fruit or vegetable," a buyer for Hardie's Fruit and Vegetable Co. in Dallas said, adding that now he pays more than $100 per box, compared to just $20 last month.

"The prices are insane," Dave Samuels, of Ingardia Bros. Produce in Santa Ana, Ca., told the Press-Enterprise.

Bad weather combined with supplies hoarding has caused a crop shortage in Mexico, raising prices and, according to Cohen, causing some in the "lime community" to describe the fruit as "oro verde," or "green gold."

Experts are divided on how long the crisis will last. Cohen said the harvest in May will bring some "price relief," though the wholesalers who spoke with Reuters said the high prices will continue indefinitely.

Those hardest hit by the shortage are the Mexican restaurant owners in Texas, many of whom were eager to share their sense of lime dread with reporters.

"I'm still gonna buy limes," Joe Lancarte, a Dallas restaurant owner, told NBC Dallas-Fort Worth. "I'm just not gonna put them on every single glass, probably, if it gets to that point."

[Image via Shutterstock]


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Michigan State Survives Against Virginia To Reach Elite Eight

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AppId is over the quota
MIGHIGAN STATE Michigan State's Adreian Payne celebrates after scoring in the second half of a regional semifinal against Virginia at the NCAA men's college basketball tournament, early Saturday, March 29, 2014, in New York. Michigan State won 61-59. (AP Photo/Seth Wenig) | ASSOCIATED PRESS

NEW YORK (AP) — Branden Dawson had 24 points and 10 rebounds and Michigan State beat top-seeded Virginia 61-59 on Friday night to advance to East Regional final.

The fourth-seeded Spartans (29-8) will play Connecticut (29-8) on Sunday with a Final Four berth at stake. The seventh-seeded Huskies beat third-seeded Iowa State 81-76 on Friday.

Michigan State overcame a horrible start to the second half and then withstood a late run by the Cavaliers (30-7) to advance to the regional finals for the eighth time since 1985 — all under coach Tom Izzo.

Joe Harris and Malcolm Brogden both had 17 points for Virginia, which became the second No. 1 seed to be eliminated, joining Wichita State.

These were the first NCAA tournament games played at Madison Square Garden since 1961.


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Vin Scully Calmly Calling An Earthquake Is The Most L.A. Thing Ever (VIDEO)

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AppId is over the quota
Vin Scully kept his cool as an earthquake shook Dodger Stadium. Vin Scully kept his cool as an earthquake shook Dodger Stadium.

Nothing can shake Vin Scully, not even an earthquake.

The legendary baseball announcer calmly integrated play-by-play commentary of the earthquake that struck Southern California on Friday evening into his call of the Dodgers' exhibition game against the Angels at Dodger Stadium.

"A little tremor in the ballpark," Scully told viewers as Dodgers catcher A.J. Ellis waited for a pitch from Garrett Richards of the Angels in the sixth inning. "I am not sure if the folks felt it but we certainly felt it here in press-box row. A tremor and only that, thank goodness."

According to the U.S. Geological Survey, that "little tremor" was a magnitude 5.1 earthquake that occurred at 9:09 p.m. PT and was centered near Brea in Orange County. The Dodgers and Angels continued the second game of their Freeway Series after the tremor.

The unflappable 86-year-old shifted from discussing the action on the field to the rumbling beneath it and then back again with a good-natured ease that few could have managed. Later during the 11-pitch at-bat, Scully regaled listeners with a recollection from the 1989 World Series when the Loma Prieta earthquake struck the Bay Area.

"Shades of '89 ... Candlestick Park ... that's in the dirt," Scully said, never losing track of the game being played. "The most terrified man in San Francisco had to be the fellow who was working up in the lights. He was up on a light tower when the earthquake hit Candlestick Park and the tower swayed and he's that poor devil hanging on. He was OK but no doubt scared to death."


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Missing Plane Searchers Checking Latest Objects For Link To Malaysia Jet

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AppId is over the quota
MALAYSIA PLANE A Royal Australia Air Force AP-3C Orion takes off from RAAF Base Pearce in Perth, Australia, early Wednesday, March 26, 2014 to resume the search for the missing Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 in the southern Indian Ocean. (AP Photo/Rob Griffith) | ASSOCIATED PRESS

PERTH, Australia (AP) — Objects spotted floating in a new search area for debris from the missing Malaysian jetliner need to be recovered and inspected before they can be linked to the plane, Australian officials said Saturday.

Planes from China and Australia were combing the newly targeted area off the west coast of Australia after several objects were spotted Friday, including two rectangular items that were blue and gray, and ships on the scene will attempt to recover them, the Australian Maritime Safety Authority said.

"The objects cannot be verified or discounted as being from MH370 until they are relocated and recovered by ships," the authority said in a statement. "It is not known how much flotsam, such as from fishing activities, is ordinarily there. At least one distinctive fishing object has been identified."

Australia's Bureau of Meteorology said a cold front would bring rain, low clouds and reduced visibility over the southern part of the search area, with moderate winds and swells of up to 2 meters (6 feet). Conditions will improve Sunday, although rain, drizzle and low clouds are still likely.

Newly analyzed satellite data shifted the search zone on Friday, raising hopes searchers may be closer to getting physical evidence that Flight 370 crashed in the Indian Ocean on March 8 with 239 people aboard.

The newly targeted zone is nearly 1,130 kilometers (700 miles) northeast of sites the searchers have crisscrossed for the past week. The redeployment came after analysts determined that the jet may have been traveling faster than earlier estimates and would therefore have run out of fuel sooner, officials said.

During the earlier search, hundreds of objects have been seen in the water by satellites, but so far not a single one has been confirmed as being from the missing Boeing 777.

Search planes are being sent out from Perth, Australia, in a staggered manner, so at least one plane will be over the area for most of the daylight hours. It is also closer than the previous search area, with a flying time of 2 ½ hours each way, allowing for five hours of search time, according to the Australian Maritime Safety Authority.

The Australian statement said five P-3 Orions — three from Australia and one each from Japan and New Zealand — plus a Japanese coast guard jet, a Chinese Ilyushin IL-76, and one civilian jet acting as a communications relay were taking part in the air search Saturday.

But Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott told reporters in Sydney that the job of locating the debris was still difficult.

"We should not underestimate the difficulty of this work — it is an extraordinarily remote location. There are inhospitable seas, it's an inaccessible place, we are trying to find small bits of wreckage in a vast ocean," he said.

The new search area is about 80 percent smaller than the old one, but still spans about 123,000 square miles (319,000 square kilometers), roughly the size of Poland. In most places, depths range from about 6,560 feet (2,000 meters) to 13,120 feet (4,000 meters), although the much deeper Diamantina trench edges the search area.

Flight 370 disappeared March 8 while bound from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing. The hunt focused first on the Gulf of Thailand, along the plane's planned path. But when radar data showed it had veered sharply west, the search moved to the Andaman Sea, off the western coast of Malaysia, before pivoting to the southern Indian Ocean, southwest of Australia.

That change was based on analysis of satellite data. But officials said a reexamination and refinement of that analysis indicated the aircraft was traveling faster than previously estimated, resulting in increased fuel use and reducing the possible distance it could have flown before going down. Just as a car loses gas efficiency when driving at high speeds, a plane will get less out of a tank of fuel when it flies faster.

Malaysia's civil aviation chief, Azharuddin Abdul Rahman, said personnel at Boeing Co. in Seattle had helped with the analysis.

"This is our best estimate of the area in which the aircraft is likely to have crashed into the ocean," Martin Dolan, chief commissioner of the Australian Transport Safety Bureau, said at a news conference in Canberra.

He said a wide range of scenarios went into the calculation.

"We're looking at the data from the so-called pinging of the satellite, the polling of the satellites, and that gives a distance from a satellite to the aircraft to within a reasonable approximation," he said. He said that information was coupled with various projections of aircraft performance and the plane's distance from the satellites at given times.

In Beijing, some relatives of the 153 Chinese passengers on the plane said the shift in the search area added to their confusion and frustration.

"What on earth is the Malaysian government doing?" said Wang Chunjiang, whose brother was a passenger. "Is there anything more that they are hiding from us?"

Investigators continued puzzling over what might have happened aboard the plane. A U.S. official, speaking on condition of anonymity because the official was not authorized to speak amid an ongoing investigation, said the FBI's searches of computer hard drives belonging to pilot and co-pilot, including a flight simulator with deleted files, have yielded "no significant information" about what happened to the plane or what role, if any, the crew might have played in its disappearance.

If investigators can determine the plane went down in the newly targeted zone, recovery of its flight data and cockpit voice recorders could be complicated.

"There are a number of ridges, escarpments and fracture zones that run through this area, so it's a fairly complex area," said Rochelle Wigley, director of the Indian Ocean Mapping Project at the University of New Hampshire. Wigley said determining the ocean floor topography within the search zone depends on its exact coordinates. While investigators appear to be focusing on an area where much of the sea floor is about 6,600 feet (2,000 meters) below the surface, depths may reach a maximum of about 19,700 feet (6,000 meters) at its easternmost edge, she said.

The U.S. Navy is sending equipment that can detect pings from the recorders, or "black boxes," up to about 20,000 feet (6,100 meters) deep, and an unmanned underwater vehicle that operates at depths up to 14,800 feet (4,500 meters).

Joseph Kolly, director of research and engineering at the U.S. National Transportation Safety Board, said the flight data recorders have to be able withstand depths of up to 6,100 meters (20,000 feet).

The new search zone's location 700 kilometers (435 miles) closer to the Australian mainland makes it easier to reach. Planes used so much fuel getting to and from the previous zone that they were limited to only about two hours of search time.

___

Wong reported from Kuala Lumpur. Associated Press writers Scott McDonald and Eileen Ng in Kuala Lumpur; Kristen Gelineau in Sydney; Rod McGuirk in Canberra, Australia; Nick Perry in Wellington, New Zealand; and Eric Tucker and Matthew Pennington in Washington contributed.


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Union: Train Operator From O'Hare Derailment Worked 69 Hours Before Accident

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CHICAGO TRAIN A CTA Blue Line train derailed and hit a platform at O'Hare International Airport about 2:55 a.m., Monday, March 24, 2014, in Chicago. (Jose M. Osorio/ Chicago Tribune/MCT via Getty Images) | Chicago Tribune via Getty Images

CHICAGO (AP) — A union for Chicago Transit Authority drivers says the operator of the train that crashed at O'Hare International Airport worked 69 hours in the seven days before the accident.

Amalgamated Transit Union Local 308 President Robert Kelly said Friday that the operator's call-in status without a consistent work shift caused her to work "strange" hours, which was a factor in the crash.

Kelly says the operator is "torn to pieces" over the crash. He says the union will fight the CTA if it seeks to fire her.

A federal investigator looking into Monday's crash in which 32 passengers were injured. The investigator says the operator acknowledged she dozed off before the accident.

Workers removed the train from the O'Hare station Thursday. CTA officials say the station will reopen this weekend.


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Kentucky Rallies Past Louisville In Another Rivalry Thriller To Reach Elite Eight

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KENTUCKY LOUISVILLE Julius Randle #30 of the Kentucky Wildcats shoots the ball against the Louisville Cardinals during the regional semifinal of the 2014 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament at Lucas Oil Stadium on March 28, 2014 in Indianapolis, Indiana. (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images) | Andy Lyons via Getty Images

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) — OK, so maybe they're not the quickest learners. Still, the kids at Kentucky figured out Louisville just in time.

Aaron Harrison hit a 3-pointer for the go-ahead score with 39 seconds left and Julius Randle made a pair of clutch free throws to lift the fantastic freshman of Kentucky to a 74-69 victory over their in-state rivals.

The eighth-seeded Wildcats (27-10) led for a grand total of 65 seconds in this Midwest Regional semifinal. They'll play Michigan on Sunday for a trip to the Final Four.

Few expected a run this deep as this season played out and Kentucky's five freshmen starters struggled to play a team game. But they've been learning slowly. Trailing by seven with 4½ minutes left, things kicked in again.

Actually, it was a sophomore, Alex Poythress, who scored five points in a 7-0 run that tied the game at 66 inside of 2 minutes. Then, it was the Kentucky freshmen who showed all the poise against the defending national champs, led by seniors Russ Smith (23 points) and Luke Hancock (19).

Harrison took a pass from Julius Randle and spotted up in the corner for the go-ahead shot. Both finished with 15 points, as did yet another freshman starter, Dakari Johnson.

On the next possession, Louisville's Wayne Blackshear got fouled. The 71 percent career free throw shooter missed the first. Randle came down and made two free throws. Smith missed a tough look at a 3-pointer on the next possession and a few seconds later, the Wildcats were chest bumping and coach John Calipari was pumping his fists to a loud stadium full of blue.


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Best Teen Tweets Of The Week! (03/28/14)

In case you weren't aware, HuffPost Teen bloggers are some of the smartest, most thoughtful and flat-out hilarious teen writers on the Internet. They also happen to be really good at Twitter. Thats why, every week, we round up the best 140-character quips and insights from our esteemed blogging team--and other equally awesome teen tweeters. Scroll down to read the latest batch and share your own suggestions by following @HuffPostTeen!


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Exploring Southern States' Opposition to Obamacare

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How do Southern states compare with non-Southern states in their response to the Affordable Care Act? What elements of the decision-making environment help us understand this region's active opposition to Obamacare?

The passage of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (referenced here as ACA or Obamacare) in 2010 has elicited heated debate and resistance legal throughout the country. A slight majority of the states have taken steps against the implementation of the law -- filing lawsuits challenging the ACA, adopting statutes against the plan, or declining to accept the increased Medicaid funding provided in the legislation. Only 21 states have begun compliance with the ACA.

The muddled controversy defies simple characterization or easy explanation. However, some of my political science colleagues have begun sorting things out for the rest of us; and they presented their analysis of the situation at the recent Citadel Symposium on Southern Politics in Charleston, SC.

Their research attempted to answer the two questions posed above about regional opposition to Obamacare.

I'll try to convey their findings in this discussion. First, however, I'll introduce them: Rick Travis (Mississippi State University), David A. Breaux (University of Louisiana-Lafayette), and John C. Morris, Martin Mayer and Robert Kenter (all three from Old Dominion University).

Degrees of Support and Opposition

Whereas most of the available reporting on this topic has comprised a mixed-bag focusing on individualized lawsuits or acceptance of Medicaid expansion, my colleagues attempted to devise a comprehensive model combining five different state actions.

They divided all 50 states into categories by whether the state has (1) enacted legislation requiring health care market reforms; (2) created a health care insurance exchange; (3) accepted increased federal funding for Medicaid; (4) filed/joined a lawsuit challenging the program; or (5) adopted legislation in opposition to the ACA. By their calculations, 14 states were clearly on the "positive" side of the fight (having taken actions in favor of the program) and 21 states were clearly on the "negative" side (having taken actions in opposition to the program) of that struggle.

Southern Opposition

Their chart shows that there is no question about the regional opposition to Obamacare. Seven of the Old Confederacy states are in the most "negative" category; three additional Southern states accompany them in relative opposition; and only Arkansas finds itself on the "plus" side. This is obviously a "red-versus-blue" contest, with New York and California anchoring the blue base of support.

Explanatory Factors?

Just what accounts for the regional opposition to the ACA? The authors identified six independent variables -- party control of governor, party control of legislature, citizen ideology, poverty level, percent uninsured and public health. They found that partisan governors, partisan legislators and citizen ideology were related to state decisions to support or oppose the ACA; however, the socio-economic variables (poverty, uninsured citizens and state of public health) were not consistently related to support or opposition.

Conclusions

I will paraphrase my colleagues' major conclusions as follows:

Their findings support the notion of Southern distinctiveness. Taken as a whole, their research showed a different decision-making environment in the South -- i.e., Southern states are driven more by politics (governors, legislatures and citizen ideology), while non-Southern states seem to be driven more by state circumstances (e.g., poverty level, health condition, etc.)Their findings also indicate that the party identification of an activist governor may be critical in shaping a state's reaction to the Affordable Care Act. If a Republican governor really wants to oppose Obamacare, then that state executive may be able to press the legislature to block implementation. Conversely, a favorably-inclined Democratic governor cannot push a state into acceptance of Obamacare, but such a leader can mitigate strong opposition to the program. They also conclude that other explanations merit further research, such as Tea Party influence and the role of race. Anecdotal evidence leads them to speculate that the former variable "might prove important"; and their instincts suggest that the latter factor "is also important."

Commentary

These experts in Southern politics have produced an interesting and timely analysis as we try to keep track of the implementation of the Affordable Care Act. Their analytical conceptualization and comparative research show that something different is going on -- with an interesting mixture of political players and socio-economic conditions -- in the Southern states.

Overall, this model and analysis of such an important policy debate is a huge step in the right direction for South-watchers and national analysts. Certainly, my colleagues have provided a useful guide as Obamacare proceeds to its eventual outcome.

AUTHOR NOTE: This column is part of a series of posts about Southern politics. These posts derive from the 2014 Citadel Symposium on Southern Politics, a gathering of regional specialists in historic Charleston, SC. This Symposium has been held every other year since 1978; and it has become a main event for serious South-watchers from around the country. A hundred specialists -- representing scholars from about 50 academic institutions -- participated in the most recent conference, March 6-7, 2014. In this series, I will attempt to incorporate pertinent aspects of the presented papers and some of my own comments into various themes.


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Hawaii's White Sand Beaches Are Made From Parrotfish Poop

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There are seven quintillion, five hundred quadrillion grains of sand in the world, according to math geniuses at the University of Hawaii. That’s more sand granules in Earth’s seas, lakes, and deserts than there are stars in the universe.

Where does it all come from? In Hawaii, where beaches are constantly ranked the best in the world, a significant portion of that pristine, white, beautiful sand is actually poop.

Yep, poop.

Parrotfishes, or uhu in Hawaiian, are key players in regulating algae and reef life. Their parrot-like beaks and fused-together teeth are used for scraping and biting dead coral, while additional teeth in their throats help to break it all down into sand. Snorkelers can actually hear them chomping or see the bite marks they leave on rocks.

Because parrotfishes don’t have stomachs, their meals pass straight through the long intestine, exploding in a cloud of sand out the backdoor. Larger parrotfish are like sand factories, producing as much as 840 pounds of sand per year. For Oahu’s snorkeling hot spot, Hanauma Bay (where a few hundred parrotfish graze), that means hundreds of tons of fish-made sand per year.

Worms, sponges, and oysters also produce Pacific ocean sand, but no animal is as proficient as the parrotfish, a badge of honor it has held for centuries. According to the Maui Ocean Center, the native Hawaiian name for the female redlip parrotfish translates to “loose bowels.”

We can see why:


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South-by-South: When to Bypass the Global North

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South-South Cooperation refers to the exchange of resources, know-how and technology between countries in the Global South. While this transfer is still limited compared to North-South exchanges, it holds much potential for the development of shared economic, political and security objectives. The following examples from Lagos, Nairobi, Mumbai, Bogotá and Rio de Janeiro include a West African railway project and cooperation between Andean nations to restore historic urban centers. Visit URB.im to learn more and join the discussion.

2014-03-28-ca130909lg1_400x298.jpgThe governments of Nigeria and Ivory Coast are currently looking into building a railroad connecting Lagos and Abidjan. The project is expected to boost trade relations between the two countries and in the West African region in general. The construction of this rail line will also boost the West African transportation sector, and allow for the consideration of other forms of transportation within Lagos, thus providing solutions for the traffic-laden city. It will open Nigeria to other West African states through more affordable and safer rail routes.

The Kenyan federation of slum dwellers, Muungano wa Wanavijiji, has partnered with Shack/Slum Dwellers International, the organization improving the living conditions of informal settlements across the globe. Connecting regional and global networks of slum residents' organizations will ensure that best practices are shared to help marginalized urban communities take inspiration from the work of SDI and its partners. For example, Muungano traveled to Uganda to attend the 9th SDI East African Hub Meeting, hosted by the Ugandan federation of slum dwellers, to discuss and develop an integrated national slum upgrading strategy.

In Mumbai, city planners have looked east for models used by cities facing similar challenges. The idea of "Shanghai-ing" Mumbai has been one of the most talked-about examples, but more effort is being made all over the country to share best practices across more local borders. PRIA, a Delhi-based research institute, has initiated the process of South-South sharing through a program called "Deepening Local Democratic Governance through Social Accountability in Asia." PRIA invited city leaders from Bangladesh and Cambodia to learn from Indian examples and share ideas from their own cities. The immediate goal is to improve democratic practices through social accountability for the provision of basic services to poor families in Rajshahi, Bangladesh and Takhmao, Cambodia.

2014-03-28-ca130909bt1_650x433.jpgBogota's historic center has suffered from gradual but steady decay during the last few decades. Bogotá is not alone in this process: many other Latin American cities have faced similar issues with their historic districts. The government has therefore been able to explore other successful solutions adopted in neighboring countries -- experts from Lima, Guatemala and Bahía dos Santos (Brazil) have already been consulted. And conversely, Bogotá was recently invited to Lima to participate in the 4th Cultural Landscape conference, organized by the Peruvian cultural ministry. Latin America offers excellent examples of historical urban centers' rehabilitation, such as Lima and Quito, so Bogotá is showing foresight in seeking cooperation with its neighboring cities as it prepares its own conservation and rehabilitation plan.

In recent years, Brazil has become an international point of reference with respect to social policies and programs. The conditional cash transfer program Bolsa Familia currently benefits 13 million families and is an intervention that many countries are interested in learning about. To support technical cooperation among countries and to promote Brazil's experience in social protection policies and programs, the Ministry of Social Development has arranged a series of meetings and field visits for various policy-makers from all around the world. They learn about the Bolsa Familia's legislation and key features, such as the unified registry system of social programs and the innovative implementation scheme that relies heavily on municipalities. Most of the demand for technical assistance currently comes from African countries interested in implementing them in their own contexts.

Clearly, international cooperation between countries from the Global South helps advance economic, social and political goals. Visit URB.im to learn more and join the discussion.

Photo credit: Nairaland and Pedro Szekely


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In Defense of Internet Navel-Gazing and the #Nomakeupselfie

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My friend Daniel and I were texting back and forth this morning about a new book that we had both read. Well, we weren't exactly texting; we were actually sending smoke signals. There was a light breeze in the air, and his smoke signals seemed to be full of typos. It got so that I had no idea what he was talking about and I was starting to doubt he had even read the book. As it turned out, it wasn't my friend signaling me at all -- it was a brush fire beside the highway. Man, were my wires crossed or what? I'm so glad communication has evolved!

Communication between humans has been evolving right alongside Homo sapiens since before recorded history. During the time we have advanced as a species, we have refined our ability to share and process language. Even before the great leap toward visual communication via cave wall paintings, there must have been communication among humans. There would no doubt have been an accepted series of troglodytic grunts in each tribe. Different grunts, generally acknowledged to mean things like "danger" or "hunger" or "holy crap -- run for it!" At the advent of cave paintings, there would thus have also been some grunts of discontent about the negative effects that this new technology would have on, well, grunting.

This week, the Internet saw a deluge of articles attacking the latest trend in Internet slacktivism, the #nomakeupselfie. These articles have a common theme which runs through them all. The suggestion is that the Internet is turning people into navel-gazing, ineffective, self-obsessed imbeciles. The possibility that the Internet is not causing this but merely exposing it is fodder for another article. The suggestion that the kids are all wrong is the part that troubles me the most.

Digital natives are people who have grown up in a time of ubiquitous Internet usage. These people have a serious advantage over non-natives for refining their communication styles. The Internet has provided a dojo in which to train, make mistakes, learn and go on to become effective communicators. Anyone who wants to can contribute written or other content to the Internet. The can do this as much as and as often as they like and many of them are doing this unconsciously every day via social media usage.

Regular schooling can offer neither the same opportunity nor reach for similar experimentation.

So, back to slacktivism and #nomakeupselfies. I would argue that although the message appears to have fallen away in 90 percent or more of these social shares, 10 percent of them are making a positive difference toward their intended causes. By the way, I got these numbers from a piece of "outrage porn" I read this morning which spurred me to write this article. Bolstering causes is great, but it's still not the point.

The point is that the trend of the broken messaging in the #nomakeupselfie campaign has sparked a lot of conversation. Some of it is not productive, but it all contributes to the evolution of the way humans communicate with each other. It is sure to awaken critical awareness in some of the participants. Perhaps someone will pause for the first time to consider "What am I trying to say with this message?" Someone else may feel embarrassed at getting swept up in the trend without knowing more first. And of course, some trolls will say terrible things to innocent others who are just having fun with their friends. But always, in all cases, people will be growing.

As the Internet flattens the earth, ideas become our most important natural resource. We must consider communication as the pipeline by which this resource flows. A great idea cannot turn into a great action if it is not well communicated. For that reason, it is important that people take part at all levels in the sharing and discussion of ideas in order to evolve their skills as communicators. So let them share, let them make embarrassing mistakes, let them misspell words until the cows come home -- but let them grow. The kids are just fine.

Quick confession -- when Twitter came out, I thought it was stupid. I wondered what the point could be and I wondered what the effect would be on language as a whole, as people tried to fit the necessary "lulz" into 140 characters. It was this brief period of contempt that was the darkness before my personal dawn of understanding. I came to understand that compressing communication to 140 characters wasn't bad: it was just different. It may even be a point of evolution because it has caused many of us to pause and refine our message -- to focus on communicating better. To make sure we are being clear.

So let's focus more of that Internet venom onto stuff like identity theft, privacy invasion and the stealing of folks' life savings. Let's encourage people to connect, share great ideas and make the world better. Let's help them along the way, but let's save the "you-kids-get-off-my-lawn" mindset for the grouchy old neighbor in the Bermuda shorts.

P.S. - Here's my #nomakeupselfie after snowboarding at Sunshine, Alberta today. Am I doing it right?

2014-03-29-JasonKingNomakeupselfie.jpg

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Earthquake Hits Los Angeles, California Area

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LOS ANGELES (AP) — Authorities say a magnitude-5.1 earthquake has shaken the Los Angeles area and surrounding counties.

The U.S. Geological Survey originally estimated the quake to be a magnitude-5.3. It said the Friday quake struck at about 9:11 p.m. and was centered near Brea in Orange County — about 20 miles southeast of downtown Los Angeles.

About an hour earlier, a 3.6 quake hit nearby in the city of La Habra.

Callers to KNX-AM reported seeing a brick wall collapse, water sloshing in a swimming pool, and wires and trees swaying back and forth.

The Los Angeles Fire Department says it is looking for signs of damage or injuries.


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Angels Lock Up Mike Trout Through 2020 With $144.5 Million Deal

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MIKE TROUT MILWAUKEE, WI - SEPTEMBER 01: Mike Trout #27 of the Los Angeles Angles of Anaheim signs some autographs before the game against the Milwaukee Brewers at Miller Park on September 01, 2013 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. (Photo by Mike McGinnis/Getty Images) | Mike McGinnis via Getty Images

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Mike Trout and the Los Angeles Angels agreed Friday night to a $144.5 million, six-year contract, keeping baseball's brightest young star under club control through 2020.

The Angels said the 22-year-old outfielder and his family will be at a news conference Saturday in Anaheim to formally announce the contract along with owner Arte Moreno, manager Mike Scioscia and general manager Jerry Dipoto.

Few players in major league history have approached Trout's accomplishments in his first two full major league seasons. The speedy center fielder is both a spectacular five-tool player and the darling of baseball's sabermetrics crowd, putting up old-fashioned highlights and statistical superlatives on a weekly basis.

The Millville, N.J., product was a unanimous choice for AL Rookie of the Year in 2012, and he finished second in AL MVP voting to Miguel Cabrera the past two years.

Trout's deal came on the same day Cabrera finalized a $292 million, 10-year deal with the Detroit Tigers, the richest contract in American sports.

The free-spending Angels were determined to reward Trout while locking up their prized possession beyond his first few years of eligibility for arbitration and free agency. Los Angeles has been quietly negotiating with Trout's representatives throughout spring training, and the club closed the deal three days before opening day at Angel Stadium.

Trout agreed on Feb. 26 to a $1 million, one-year contract for 2014, much more than the Angels were required to offer him. His new deal runs from 2015-20.

The outfielder would have been eligible for arbitration for the first time after this season, and for free agency following the 2017 World Series. Now, he can't become a free agent until at least age 29.

It's the latest big-money deal for the Angels, who are entering the third season of a $240 million, 10-year contract with first baseman Albert Pujols, the second season of a $125 million, five-year agreement with outfielder Josh Hamilton and the third season of an $85 million, five-year contract with pitcher Jered Weaver.

But while the Angels' deals for Pujols and Hamilton have been criticized for their lavish nature and the thirty-something sluggers' ensuing lack of production, Los Angeles is locking up Trout early in an uncommonly promising career.

Trout's contract isn't worth as much as Cabrera's lavish deal in Detroit, but it still would allow Trout to hit free agency at an age when he could still be in the prime of his career.

And when his new deal ends, Trout will still be younger than the 30-year-old Cabrera is now.

Trout's average salary of $24,083,333 under the new deal is ninth in the majors, trailing only those of Clayton Kershaw, Cabrera, Alex Rodriguez, Justin Verlander, Ryan Howard, Hamilton, Felix Hernandez and Zack Greinke.

Trout is batting .314 with 62 homers and 196 RBIs in just 336 career games, including 40 games in 2011. The speedy center fielder also has stolen 86 bases while playing stellar defense and making two All-Star teams, starting for the AL last summer.

He is one of four players in baseball history to bat .320 with 50 homers and 200 runs in his first two full seasons, joining Joe DiMaggio, Ted Williams and Pujols.

Trout has accomplished just about everything except team success during his short major league career. The Angels have missed the playoffs in four consecutive seasons, and they finished 78-84 last year, their worst record in a decade.

The deal provides huge security for Trout. He received a bonus of $1,215,000 when he signed after the Angels selected him with the 25th overall pick in the 2009 amateur draft. He made $482,500 two years ago and earned a $10,000 bonus for winning the rookie award, then was unilaterally renewed by the Angels last year at $510,000 — $20,000 above the big league minimum at the time.

That deal sparked criticism from many Angels fans who thought Trout deserved more compensation for his outstanding play. They also worried the relatively meager deal — and the Angels' decision to move Trout from his preferred center field to left last season — might sour the budding superstar on the team.

Trout is back in center field this season, and Moreno made sure Trout couldn't doubt the Angels' financial commitment to him.

___

AP Sports Writers Ronald Blum and Mike Fitzpatrick in New York contributed to this report.


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10 Things Most Exceptional CIOs Never Do

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2014-03-28-ExceptionalCIO.png

The list below is from over two decades of observations in first, second and third person. Before publishing I asked over 50 Fortune 1000 CIOs and CTOs to review and comment; their feedback is included.

At the core of everything below is going against the grain and the herd, and embracing counter intuition. Whether you embrace counter intuition systematically, or selectively, most of the items below are suggesting in their cognitive DNA counter-intuitive thinking.

They do not try to define innovation - It's difficult to define innovation, and if you do define innovation it means that you will set up a single process to do or capture it the way you define it. Wrong -- most exceptional technology leaders learn that innovation comes in many flavors, inside-out, outside-in, evolutionary and revolutionary. If you define it you have one process, if you do not, you learn there are many processes needed to do or capture the many types of innovation.They never have secret projects - The knee-jerk reaction is to have little secret projects, or "black ops" type projects. Exceptional technology leaders will tell you that you need to do innovative projects in the open, allow folks to see, smell and marvel in its artistry. What you want is for everyone to copy the behavior of the few innovating. If you lock them in a secret room, no one knows, and no innovative behavior gets copied.They are never surprised by failure - Certain percentage of technology projects fail, it is the nature of the beast. Exceptional technology leaders set these expectations for failure with their operating committees, and investment governance stewards early in the process. When failure happens, it is never a surprise; it is usually "well that one falls in our failure bucket we prepared for".They never start projects themselves - Folks that want/try to build a prototype usually struggle to wow business stakeholders. This is because you have to get the business stakeholders involved before you can build anything. Some leaders I know do not even draw a project in PowerPoint before engaging the customer. Every project is started by the customer, whether on the customer's own conscious accord, or the customer unconsciously prompted (but technology leadership) to do so.They resist the need for PMO - Certain processes in large organizations do not thrive with the presence of the project police, while others do. Most exceptional leaders I consulted agreed that a PMO in the wrong place at the wrong time can be catastrophic. Some processes need low rigor, some mild, and only some the high rigor that comes with a PMO presence.They do not break projects into phases - Large phases (one, two and three) are logical "kill points" for projects. Most projects get killed after phase one, and very frequently this is because phase one is a minimally viable product that does the least that can be done, but does it well. Two things happen, the business stakeholders see no reason to fund phase two and/or three (I mean they already saw something that kind of works), and the technology leader never gets to build phase two which would deliver efficiency; and phase three, which would create business value. So large phases leave you always delivering phase one only which unfortunately only kinda works. Have 24 phases, not three.They never worry about a target state - We can barely predict what our families will do in a year, yet we try to predict what companies of thousands of employees should be like three to five years out with a target state. Worst once there is a targets state, the "target state police" start invalidate changes to the market place and new innovations by activating the "well it does not fit into the target state" card essentially locking the company away from the world for three to five years at a time. Exceptional technology leaders create a governance culture to enable an evolving model, not a target state.They do not try to build hero products - Very rarely can you build a single product that solves all of your customers ailments in a vacuum. You cannot build standalone solutions; you have to build a product that works with others. The days of platforms with stocks of information are over; exceptional technology leaders build ecosystems with flows of information. Most folks suggested that they build as little as possible, instead they orchestrate like a maestro of other products instead of a builder of a hero product.They never wait on innovation - Exceptional technology leaders do not wait to see what happens to new innovations, they disdain being a fast follower, they are habitually enterprise early adopters. They buy innovation commercially (and many times invest in the startups) early in the innovation cycle and way left of the theory of diffusion of innovation bell curve. Waiting to see what happens to an innovation means paying more for it, and being late to the party.They do not read leadership books - There are almost a million books on leadership available for purchase on Amazon.com. All noise, an echo chamber if I may. Exceptional leaders systematically and pragmatically go against the status quo. They thrive in counter intuition. As technology commoditizes, the herd gets larger and larger, go in the opposite direction.

Do you have others to add?

What are some of the traits you see in exceptional technology leaders?


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War Was the Best Thing to Happen to Me

World War II was the making--and almost the unmaking--of me.

Otherwise the story of my plane being shot down and the subsequent award of a Purple Heart medal--for a bump on the head. There is the story of how I wiped out most of the freshwater ?sh in Germany--slight exaggeration. I'll get to those.

But ?rst, you should know this: for me, going to war meant a quantum leap in the quality of my life. Otherwise, I might never have left a factory job--screwing together big telephone switchboards for Western Electric in Newark, New Jersey. When, in 1943, I entered a training program for the Army Air Corps, my life started on a new trajectory.

I don't minimize the tragedy and sacrifice of the war. I had fliers sit by me at mess hall one day; the next, they were gone--along with their planes--their names to be added to the honor roll, their families to be sent the news they dreaded.

The risk of dying young was real. But so was the opportunity to transform your life. The training I received from the Army Air Corps allowed me to become an of?cer (First Lieutenant) and then, after I returned from the war, to receive an undergraduate education at Syracuse University at the government expense. By the time I graduated with a B.A. in ­political science, I was on a path that would lead me to become a well-paid executive in New York City in the 1950s, living a life that I would have dismissed as a fantasy 10 years before.

It might sound odd, but the war was the best thing to happen to me.

It wasn't the safest thing, however.

On December 11, 1944, our B-24 bomber went down in the Adriatic Sea. The experience made me religious for the ?rst and possibly the last time in my life.

The 15th Air Force ?ew out of Italy. We had it relatively easy compared to the 8th Air Force, which ?ew out of England. But our planes still got shot down. We had maybe 15 percent casualties. It was enough to keep you alert.

The two toughest targets for us were Munich and Vienna. On this day we were headed for Vienna. The city was heavily armed. They had batteries of four 88-millimeter anti-aircraft guns, so the shots were in sequence. Pum, pum, pum, pum. Puffs of black smoke far below. You couldn't hear anything. When your enclosed in glass, as the bombardier is, you just see them. You'd wait for the fourth puff. You knew the guns meant potential death. They were frightening. And fascinating.

You need to understand, we were slow-moving targets. We ?ew B-24s. One of the uncomplimentary names for the B-24 was the "pregnant footlocker." It had a large underbelly, and a top speed of 160 miles per hour. We would lose a race with most European sports cars now.

On that day we ran into some ?ghter opposition and two of our four engines were shot out over Vienna, which of course was in the grasp of German power at the time.

Now, B-17 bombers ?ew beautifully on two engines. The B-24 did not. With only two engines working, it wasn't a matter of whether we would crash, but when. Fortunately, we had a very able pilot. He kept us aloft for as long as he could, and then he announced we were going to ditch. That means a plane thats designed to land on terra ?rma is going down in the water.

We braced ourselves. I was initially pleased we were going to crash into water, which in my experience certainly seemed softer than land. That notion was sharply dispelled by the massive impact we felt as we made contact with the Adriatic--by that time we were going 100 MPH. The force was tremendous. I momentarily blacked out.

When I came to, I was underwater. I thought, I'm not a bad swimmer. Funny the thoughts you have. I was 21 years old. I thought, I'm certainly not a good swimmer, but it would be odd if I drowned.

Then I stood up.

You see, I was still in the airplane, in three feet of water. You can drown in two inches of water if your nose is covered. But I had recovered consciousness. So I didn't have to swim to safety, I just climbed out. In fact, all 10 of the crew climbed out before the plane sank. That was fortunate because the B-24s ?oating ability was very poor.

The crew sprang the yellow dinghies, and we sat in them in the water. In December, the water is 50 to 55 degrees Fahrenheit. So we sat in the dinghies for two hours until we were picked up by an Italian ?shing boat and taken to land. An Army truck took us to Foggia, about 20 or 30 miles away.

I had suffered a bump on the head. It was treated quickly. But then they woke me up at 2: 00 in the morning and presented me with the Purple Heart.

My head healed quickly--I still have a little scar. But that wasn't the end of the story. You see, I developed the condition for which Preparation H was created. To put it bluntly, I had the piles. When I got back to the squadron, I had to go for treatment to the same clinic that looked after those suffering from venereal disease. Venereal disease was a major problem. There were signs all over. I must say that as a good of?cer I followed instructions where V.D. was concerned. Mainly because I couldn't get within arms length of a woman.

The word spread, however, that Lieutenant Crandell had venereal disease because I went to the same place for treatment as the V.D. suf­ferers.

I dubbed it the immaculate infection.

Next time I'll tell you the story of missing Munich and killing all those fish.

By the way, my son wrote down a bunch of my stories in a book called Silver Tongue-Secrets of Mr. Santa Barbara. I highly recommend it as a sedative. Just take two chapters with a glass of water. youll sleep like a baby.


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